EDMONTON – Alberta Emergency Alert has issued a critical alert warning residents of an incompentent premier. Smart phones across the province simultaneously lit up with imminent, life threa…
O’Toole urges Canadians to punish Trudeau for calling election, really punish him, yes, HARDER
RUSSELL, ONT. – At a recent campaign stop, Conservative leader and PM hopeful Erin O’Toole made it clear he wants the Canadian public to absolutely humiliate Trudeau in the election, break …
Jean Chrétien hired as Trudeau’s bodyguard
OTTAWA — In response to violent protesters swarming his personal appearences, Liberal leader Justin Trudeau has hired Jean Chrétien as his personal bodyguard. The 89-year-old has several decades …
Maxime Bernier makes stump speech in ambulance bay
TORONTO – Dozens of PPC supporters joined Maxime Bernier in front of a hospital’s ambulance bay and emergency room where the political leader made his pitch to voters. The angry crowd of ab…
O’Toole promises to personally babysit your child
GATINEAU, QC – Conservative Party Leader Erin O’Toole has offered to personally babysit every Canadian child instead of funding new childcare spaces. “If elected as your prime minister, I w…
Jealous O’Toole orders staffers to throw rocks at him
GATINEAU, QC – Conservative Leader Erin O’Toole has instructed his staff to throw rocks at him at his next election event. “Jimmy, this sympathy [Trudeau] is getting in the press is not fai…
Fully vaccinated Albertans offer Jason Kenney $100 to move back to Ontario, never return
EDMONTON – Fully vaccinated Albertans have offered Premier Jason Kenney $100 if he immediately flies back to his native province and never returns. “We are offering Mr. Kenney a reward for …
Erin O’Toole breaks with platform by running for the Liberals
VANCOUVER – In another sudden platform shift, Conservative Party leader Erin O’Toole announced he will run under the Liberal Party banner. O’Toole made the announcement after re…
Hibernation of unpopular conservative premiers signals federal election season
TORONTO – Writs dropping from Parliament has signalled the beginning of the hibernation period for odious, conservative provincial leaders who will nestle in their cabinet offices or homes.…
O’Toole confirms his position on abortion has not changed since he’s taken all positions
TORONTO – Conservative Party Leader Erin O’Toole has pushed back against claims that he he keeps changing his position on abortion by claiming that his position is “all of them.” “Unrestric…
