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Renegade stock clerk has big plans for aisle three
PEMBROKE, ON – Loblaws stock clerk Jeremy Brenton was quite vocal this morning with both customers and passersby regarding his “huge plans” for the store’s Aisle Three. Brenton was overheard mumb…
Health Canada politely asks Canadians not to fall sick anymore
OTTAWA, ON – In a public statement made Monday morning, Health Canada officially asked Canadians if, before getting sick, they might first consider not getting sick at all. “Given the monumental …
Canada lies about age to be admitted into elite world country club
GENEVA, CH – Sources inside one of the world’s oldest and most opulent country clubs have indicated that the country of Canada may have lied about its age in order to be considered for memb…
Toronto will receive $2 million to fight bed bugs
Toronto will receive $2 million from Queen’s Park for its fight against bed bugs. The money will pay for 11 nurses to help select citizens deal with infestation problems. What’s your say? “…
Leafs to fans: No, you suck!
TORONTO – Toronto Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke and a few of his players called a surprise press conference Thursday afternoon to lash back at fans that have been unsupportive of the club’s po…
Vernon Wells struggles with entrance music
TORONTO – Toronto Blue Jays center fielder Vernon Wells is in a slump, but it has nothing to do with his bat or his glove. The 31-year-old told reporters that he is profoundly troubled by t…