GENEVA – Plans to allow music festivals to continue with their rescheduled dates have been put on indefinite hold by the World Health Organization until deemed safe enough to have a 6’8” ma…
Man who records his refusal to wear a mask determined to turn local humiliation global
KINGSTON, ON – After being politely asked to comply with public health mandates to wear a mask at local establishments during a global pandemic, local man Clarence Heart pulled out his phon…
Canada directed to sit at UN kids table
NEW YORK CITY- After a long awaited period of deliberation at the United Nations table committee, Canada has once again been instructed to sit at the kids table during the UN security dinner. “Th…
Canadian Dam Association releases report on the amount of work done by uncertified beavers
OTTAWA – A shocking centuries-long report has been released by the Canadian Dam Regulation on the amount of work done on the nation’s dams by uncertified beaver labourers. The report detail…
Peter MacKay promises never to use tragedies to prevent further tragedies
OTTAWA – Conservative Party leadership hopeful and native Nova Scotian Peter MacKay announced in a video on his Twitter feed today his disgust with the Trudeau government’s proposed ban on …
COVID-19 pandemic reveals Mayor of Flavortown to be most competent US politician
CHICAGO – In response to the COVID-19 pandemic, Guy Fieri and the National Restaurant Association Education Foundation have launched the Restaurant Employee Relief Fund with a one-time gran…
Monopoly banned during quarantine to prevent homicide increase
OTTAWA – In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, the government of Canada has introduced legislation to ban the nation-wide use of Hasbro’s Monopoly in order to prevent any further uptick in…
Man screaming on roller coaster just listening to Goosebumps on audiobook
ANAHEIM, CA – After strapping in to ride the Incredicoaster at Disneyland with a group of fellow theme park thrill seekers, Toronto native Charles Hernandez’s screams were revealed to be ca…
Tim Horton’s changes Roll Up The Rim to Russian Roulette
TORONTO – In a press conference unveiling the next step in their famous annual giveaway, Tim Horton’s has announced they will be officially changing the contest from Roll Up The Rim to Russ…
