NEW YORK CITY – Despite mounting pressure from other hate groups, the self described, ”pro-Western fraternal organization,” Proud Boys, will be sticking with that incredibly stupid name. “A…
BREAKING: Leo and Pisces on date
THUNDER BAY, ON – Locals are in an uproar with sightings of known Pisces Savana Jennings and Patrick Alaster – a Leo – going on a date. “When we found out that Savana had asked …
“He never tried to eat me,” friends defend cannibal
AJAX, ON — Friends of accused cannibal, Robert Black, are rushing to his defence after a tip to police revealed a freezer full of limbs in the basement of his house. “Look, I know Rob. He’s…
BREAKING: 12 hours later, man realizes praise was sarcastic
DUNDAS, ON – A full half-day after the fact, local data entry technician Kyle Hood has locked himself in his car after realizing that the praise he received from his boss and co-workers had…
Weeks later and nothing has changed for accountant who starred in Fringe show
WINNIPEG, MB – Several weeks after starring in a nine-day run of his one-person show, “Pobody’s Nerfect,” absolutely nothing has changed in the life of local accountant Ryan Ward, whose dre…
Most requested sex act of 2021 is telling straight men they’re ‘one of the good ones’
Barrie, ON – Replacing 2020’s ‘Pegging,’ studies say that the most requested sex act in North America for straight men is now telling them that they’re ‘one of the good ones.’ “Nothing gets…
REPORT: Kidnappers giving proof of life only thing keeping newspapers alive
OTTAWA – A new report by print media analysts revealed Thursday that up to 70% of all physical newspaper subscriptions have been traced back to organized crime, as cartels and fringe groups…