Team: Edmonton Oilers Mascot: A middle aged man who won’t stop talking about the 1980s. 2013-14 Season: The Oilers entered the season with a lot of young, unproven talent who then proved themsel…
Local bully about to give other kid a great story for his one man show
Surrey, B.C. – Claiming he was “wearing a gay shirt,” local bully Chad “Two Hits” Richler had resolved to give fellow grade 5 student Jimmy Hill the kind of beating that will one day serve …
4chan user threatens to release nude photos of mother if she cuts off allowance
REGINA – Following a threat to actress Emma Watson over her feminist speech to the UN, 4chan user BuchowskisDICK has gone on to threaten his own mother with a nude photo release should she …
Husband absent mindedly says words that will be thrown in his face for rest of life
MEDICINE HAT, AB – In between scrolling through Netflix and checking texts on his phone local man Garry Wood, 32, has casually uttered the seemingly random sequence of words that his wife, …
Roger Goodell refuses to believe he saw Ray Rice video until he sees video of himself watching video
NEW YORK – In a press conference today, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell responded to reports suggesting he had seen the video of suspended running back Ray Rice punching his wife in an eleva…
Edmonton man can’t scratch mosquito bites due to snow gloves
EDMONTON – Local man Taylor Webster has been having difficulty satisfactorily scratching the many mosquito bites he got last week at the lake, likely because the recent snowfall has require…
Local man sitting by bucket of ice, just waiting to be challenged
ST. JOHN – Jason Travers, 29, has become so taken by the Ice Bucket Challenge to raise awareness and funds for ALS research, that he is currently sitting in his backyard with a large bucket…
Report: cooking show competitor might not finish in time
HOLLYWOOD – In a dramatic and unforeseen turn of events, Julianna Markus, contestant on popular cooking show Chopped may not be able to finish making her meal before the time limit expires.…
Auditor reveals Alison Redford spent over $70,000.00 in taxpayer money on her resignation letter
CALGARY – An addendum to the damming report of the Auditor General of Alberta on former Premier Alison Redford’s expenses has revealed that, in addition to the malfeasance that drove her fr…
Report: 10% of entrants on America’s Funniest Home Videos later died from internal bleeding
HOLLYWOOD – A new report by the Film and Television Safety Institute has confirmed that, every year, 10% of the entrants on the hilarious television show America’s Funniest Home Videos have…
