CHARLOTTE – Pop-punk band Sum 41 joined the likes of Bruce Springsteen and Jimmy Buffett when they cancelled their upcoming Charlotte concert, a move they insisted had to do with the state …
Netflix reverses crackdown on geoblocking services after watching an episode of Mr. D
TORONTO – Netflix Canada announced they would stop going after IP blockers and other services that allow Canadians to access U.S. Netflix after their C.E.O. saw an episode of Mr. D. “For so…
Making playoffs forces Phil Kessel to cancel annual fishing trip
A distraught Phil Kessel was forced to cancel his annual fishing trip with his buddies yesterday after the Pittsburgh Penguins made the NHL playoffs despite his best efforts. “I was pretty hopefu…
Tories blast Trudeau for not having offshore shell corporation
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party expressed outrage this morning that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was not one of the many world leaders recently exposed by the Panama Papers as having a pri…
Beardless Tom Mulcair challenges bearded Tom Mulcair for NDP leadership
EDMONTON – As the NDP prepares to meet for its annual party convention, a new challenger has emerged to current party leader bearded Tom Mulcair: a Tom Mulcair without a scraggly, rapidly g…
OJ believes OJ did it after binge-watching American Crime Story in jail
Lovelock Correctional Center- Correctional Officers say inmate O.J. Simpson has become convinced that the main character from the television series American Crime Story: The Trial of OJ Simpson …
Woman getting off at Museum Station probably works at the museum
TORONTO – A mysterious woman set off a firestorm of speculation yesterday when she exited the subway train at an unconventional stop, Museum Station*. “I thought she must’ve missed her transfer o…
Top 10 Underrated Racist Names for White People
Racism can be traced back tens of thousands of years to cave paintings in France, where early homo-sapiens are depicted in “Neanderthal Face.” Although scientists are coming to the conclusion tha…
RBC bests Scotiabank with new ad campaign ‘you’re richer than the government thinks’
TORONTO – RBC has announced a new slogan designed to compete with Scotiabank’s popular ‘you’re richer than you think’ in which the bank assures people that they can be wealthier than they t…
Justin Trudeau misses budget vote while staring at his own reflection
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau missed a crucial vote on the proposed Liberal budget this morning after the Prime Minister spent too long staring at himself in the bathroom mirror again. “I apologi…
