Vaughan, ON – Canada’s Wonderland has revealed a new roller coaster inspired by the harrowing Oscar-nominated film Room that will make its debut at the theme park this summer. Expected to b…
Blackberry stock rises on report nation’s dads still can’t figure out iPhone
TORONTO – Blackberry stock closed at its highest level in months today after a national report released by McGill University indicated that Canadian fathers are still too stubborn to learn how an…
Rachel Notley admits to personally starting Fort McMurray wildfire
EDMONTON – After days of dodging important questions from Rebel Media and uncles’ Facebook pages alike, Alberta premier Rachel Notley came clean today and admitted that she intentionally cr…
Margaret Wente now required to submit columns through Turnitin.com
TORONTO – Faced with new allegations of plagiarism, Globe and Mail columnist Margaret Wente will now be required to submit all of her work to the student essay checking service Turnitin.com…
Sum 41 blames anti-transgender law for cancelling poorly selling North Carolina show
CHARLOTTE – Pop-punk band Sum 41 joined the likes of Bruce Springsteen and Jimmy Buffett when they cancelled their upcoming Charlotte concert, a move they insisted had to do with the state …
Netflix reverses crackdown on geoblocking services after watching an episode of Mr. D
TORONTO – Netflix Canada announced they would stop going after IP blockers and other services that allow Canadians to access U.S. Netflix after their C.E.O. saw an episode of Mr. D. “For so…
Making playoffs forces Phil Kessel to cancel annual fishing trip
A distraught Phil Kessel was forced to cancel his annual fishing trip with his buddies yesterday after the Pittsburgh Penguins made the NHL playoffs despite his best efforts. “I was pretty hopefu…
Tories blast Trudeau for not having offshore shell corporation
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party expressed outrage this morning that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was not one of the many world leaders recently exposed by the Panama Papers as having a pri…
Beardless Tom Mulcair challenges bearded Tom Mulcair for NDP leadership
EDMONTON – As the NDP prepares to meet for its annual party convention, a new challenger has emerged to current party leader bearded Tom Mulcair: a Tom Mulcair without a scraggly, rapidly g…
OJ believes OJ did it after binge-watching American Crime Story in jail
Lovelock Correctional Center- Correctional Officers say inmate O.J. Simpson has become convinced that the main character from the television series American Crime Story: The Trial of OJ Simpson …
