QUEEN’S PARK – While invoking the Notwithstanding Clause to prevent CUPE education workers from striking, Premier Ford appeared dressed in the most terrifying Halloween costume he could ima…
Reports circulate about Toronto having some kind of mayoral election
TORONTO – Unsubstantiated reports have begun to circulate throughout the metro area that some kind of municipal election may be taking place, quite possibly right under residents’ noses. “I…
Poilievre confident THIS endorsement from an alt right conspiracy theorist won’t blow up in his face
OTTAWA – After receiving praise from Infowars host and conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, Pierre Poilievre has expressed confidence that unlike past endorsements, this one will certainly not b…
Nova Scotia warned storm could reduce services to New Brunswick levels
HALIFAX – With Hurricane Fiona recently upgraded to a category 4 storm, officials are warning that power and service outages could drop to dangerous New Brunswick levels. “I won’t lie, thin…
Buckingham Palace confirms death of Queen at Meghan Markle’s hands probably
LONDON – Britain’s Royal Family has officially confirmed that Her Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth the II is dead at age 96, with her cause of death “almost certainly” being Suits suppor…
Ford government gives hospitals the power to send elderly patients to EZ Self Storage
QUEEN’S PARK – Premier Ford’s Ontario PC’s have passed controversial new legislation that could force hospital patients awaiting long-term care to be stored in long-term s…
Solidarity! Following the Chrystia Freeland video, we got reactions from every male party leader
Airports, am I right? With a video of Deputy Prime Minister Chrystia Freeland being harassed and cornered in an airport elevator going viral last week – not cool – we decided to respo…
Ontario announces new “Self Serve” Emergency Rooms
QUEEN’S PARK – With Ontario’s hospitals reporting emergency room closures and critical nursing shortages, Premier Doug Ford has announced a new relief plan allowing patients to diagnose the…
Vancouver removes tents from Eastside unless they can prove they’re a weed shop
VANCOUVER – This week on Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside police began removing tents from the sidewalks, unless the individuals inside could show proof that the structure is actually a cannab…
Toddler cannot fucking believe mom is here
FREDERICTON, NB – During a recent family gathering reports have emerged that 19-month-old Rodney McPhee has absolutely lost his mind with excitement upon noticing that his mother, Ainsley M…
