There are too many ducks at this duck pond By Agnes Underwood I’ve been coming down to the duck pond by Miller’s Park for 52 years now and it’s about time that I spoke out about something that’s …
Nation’s spittoon manufacturers suffer 125th straight annual loss
RUSTY CREEK – Financial reports out of Rusty Creek, Idaho, the location of the headquarters of the four largest U.S. spittoon manufacturers, have confirmed that spittoon profits are down yet agai…
The 10 most dishonest lies Donald Trump said during this election campaign
The U.S. election campaign has been a roller-coaster of finger pointing, name calling, and anger on both sides. But one of the hardest things to keep track of are the ever-growing number of untru…
Angelina Jolie splits from Brad Pitt to spend more time collecting children
LOS ANGELES – In an announcement which has stunned the public, Hollywood power couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have split up, citing Jolie’s wish to spend more time expanding her child …
Tom Hiddleston releases sad break-up song about Taylor Swift
LOS ANGELES — Coming off his recent split with Taylor Swift, Hollywood actor Tom Hiddleston has penned a soulful ballad about the pain he has experienced since the end of the relationship. …
Marriage on the rocks after argument over whether Golden Age of television has ended
HAMILTON – A recent argument between Ted and Susan Jameson over whether the golden age of television has indeed come to a close has led to concerns that their marriage may be in jeopardy. “Sure, …
Rio Olympics opening ceremony includes memorial to all athletes expected to die during Rio Olympics
RIO DE JANEIRO – In a somber moment during the opening ceremonies for the Rio de Janeiro Olympic Games, a memorial video played in tribute to all the athletes expected to die in the coming weeks.…
Germany excited to finally be good guy in next World War
BERLIN – Speaking before an assembled group of reporters, Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany has announced the entire nation is thrilled that they will probably be considered a good guy in the u…
IOC to punish Russia for doping by forcing its athletes to compete in Rio Olympics
LAUSANNE, SWITZERLAND – The International Olympic Committee has announced that, as punishment for the recent state-sponsored doping revelations, all of Russia’s athletes will be forced to partici…
Doritos nutritionists concerned Canadian diet not ‘zesty’ enough
VICTORIA – A special report released earlier this week by top Doritos nutritionists has expressed concerns that the average Canadian’s diet is far below the daily recommended zesty-ness threshold…
