WINNIPEG – Former elementary school student Rowan Bird has been living in the sewers for several months, and feels that the popular franchise Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has deceived him a…
‘So far so good’ reports baby carrying around Ming Dynasty vase
CANMORE, AB- Oliver Jorgensen, a 14-month old baby who just learned to walk, has let everyone know that things are going very well in his attempt to carry around a priceless Ming Dynasty vase wit…
Local man’s Donald Trump-Apocalypse Now analogy falls apart instantly
CHATHAM – Over a zoom cocktail hour with friends, local dentist Doug Nairn tried to make a complicated analogy comparing the end of the Trump Administration to the plot of the Francis Ford …
Drive-in campaign rally just excuse for politically active teens to make out
ALTOONA, PA – Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden held a last-minute drive-in campaign rally on the campus of Penn State-Altoona, and while the attendees were ostensibly there to supp…
People are looking at your LinkedIn profile, and boy are they horrified!
Good news! Your career is about to go in a bold new direction, because thanks to the new changes you made to your LinkedIn profile, 4 people looked at it! Bad news, they do NOT like it and are no…
Hunter Biden seen creeping around bushes of Fox News viewers
AMERICA – According to multiple reports from Fox News viewers around the United States, Hunter Biden has been creeping around the bushes of several American households, and in some cases go…
Health Canada announces doctors no longer allowed to prescribe ‘Good Lovin’
OTTAWA – Health Canada has put an end to the common practice by family doctors of prescribing ‘good lovin’ as a cure for a number of illnesses, particularly those accompanied by a fever. He…
Report: All Samuel Beckett’s plays originally ended with the words “GET IT??????”
PARIS – Leading Beckett scholars have revealed that, before they were published or put on stage, every one of Samuel Beckett’s plays would conclude with Beckett writing “GET IT?????” in big…
Scientists discover zebras got stripes to be cool as teens and now they can’t take them off
BRISTOL, UK – A recent study shows zebras are normal horses that got stripes when they were in their teen years and now they can’t remove them, even though they want to. The reasons behind …
Nova Scotia to be renamed Scotiabank Province
HALIFAX – In a bid to increase brand awareness, the Bank of Nova Scotia has agreed to pay $5,000 and an iPad to the province of Nova Scotia to change its name to Scotiabank Province. “It’s …