WINNIPEG – For the fourth year in a row Winnipeg has been voted as the best place to live at the co-ordinates of longitude 49.8951° N, latitude 97.1384° W. “We have come a long way since Wi…
Nation excited to briefly consider Jagmeet Singh before giving Trudeau a second term
TORONTO – After Jagmeet Singh secured the leadership of the Federal New Democratic Party, all of Canada is excited to think about supporting the party in next federal election before giving…
New brunch place caters exclusively to screaming infants
Vancouver – A new east side restaurant focusing on brunch staples caters exclusively to screaming, crying babies. “Every time I went to a brunch place there were at least 5 patrons under 1,…
NHL threatens to move Canucks to Calgary if city doesn’t build new stadium
Calgary- After walking away from negotiations with the Calgary city council earlier this week the NHL has publicly threatened to move the Vancouver Canucks to Calgary if the city does not foot at…
God sick of shutting all these doors and opening all these fucking windows
Heaven – The omnipresent being that created all of existence is reportedly growing tired of shutting multiple doors for humans and then being expected to also open a corresponding window. “…
Study: Yes, you are too old to start learning karate
HAMILTON – After years of study, including extensive human trials and multiple data analysis models, a team of researchers at McMaster University have concluded that you are in fact to old …
Quiz: Are you in Antifa or a Ska Band?
Antifa, a term used to describe a militant organization dedicated to combatting fascism. Ska bands, a term used describe organizations dedicated to playing sweet jams you can skank to. It is almo…
Couple spends weekend binge watching their relationship die
REGINA – Local couple Cameron Lacks and Joel Divago are excited to unwind after a long work week by spending the weekend binge watching their relationship die. “My last relationship I would…
Trump begins ‘negging’ portion of NAFTA negotiations
Washington, DC- Ahead of the meeting between Mexico, Canada and the USA in Mexico City to renegotiate the North American Free Trade Act, Trump has begun what he terms the ‘negging’ portion of the…
Parenting Win! This dad waited until his son was in the car to yell at him for missing a penalty shot
Make sure you have some Kleenex ready because this story of fatherly love is sure to get the tear ducts working overtime. While we’ve all wanted to scream at our child in front of strangers, Gord…
