OTTAWA – Reports from in and around TD Place Stadium say Grey Cup fever is sweeping almost 3 dozen people. The game between the Calgary Stampeders and the Toronto Argonauts is projected to …
PC culture run amok! This high school had to change their mascot from a smallpox blanket
The latest attack from social justice warriors isn’t on one of our beloved prime ministers but rather something completely innocuous, Lakeside High’s beloved mascot Poxy the Smallpox Blanket. Sch…
Heartwarming! This couple nicknamed their crippling co-dependence love
While most couples express their feelings for each other with cute Instagram posts or little gifts this couple took it to a whole other level. They decided to show each other how they really feel…
CRTC rules that 20% of illegal torrents must be CanCon
Ottawa – The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission has ruled that 20% of all content illegally downloaded must be produced in Canada and have noticeable Canadian theme…
Dead body not as exciting as group of ten year olds thought it would be
Abbotsford B.C. – After embarking on a series of misadventures on their search for a rumoured corpse, local children Luke Fecks, Talbi Singh and Kyle Dobbs, were ultimately underwhelmed by …
9 adorable Halloween outfits that will be offensive in 5 years
Ever had to censor a Throwback Thursday post because your parents decided to dress you as ‘Dreamcatcher Girl’ or ‘Generic Mexican’? Although it may seem like the days of offensive Halloween costu…
Old German neighbour was probably just a cook or something
Waterloo, ON – After year of speculation experts agree the seemingly pleasant 95 year old German man, Charles Müller, probably just served as a cook or some other low level position during …
Local man replaces entire personality with things he’s heard on podcasts
EDMONTON – After years of constantly listening to podcasts and judiciously keeping himself from any real world experience, local man Jacob Spoots has replaced every facet of his personality…
Morneau vows to balance budget by turning Department of Finance into numbered shell company
OTTAWA – Minister of Finance Bill Morneau has announced that in order to increase efficiency and lower costs the Department of Finance will be transitioned to a shell company with a numbere…
‘I’m a pretty big deal on Twitter’ reports total knob
HALIFAX – Multiple sources have overheard Mark Griggs, who has recently been diagnosed as a complete and total douche, informing a tinder date that he is a very big deal on Twitter. “The gr…
