OTTAWA – Dozens of Canadians are reportedly dead and thousands of others have been hospitalized after consuming a deadly amount of cannabis-related jokes immediately after pot became legal.…
India cracks down on CRA scams after Canada threatens to send PM back for another official visit
DELHI – Authorities in India have arrested dozens in relation to CRA phone scams after Canada threatened to return Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to the country for another official visit. G…
Supreme Court reaffirms indigenous right to decades-long legal battles
OTTAWA – The Supreme Court of Canada gave its ruling confirming an indigenous communities right to incredibly long, drawn out legal battles with the federal government before their rights a…
Journalists interviewing Stephen Harper on his new book ball gagged as a precaution
TORONTO – Former Prime Minister Stephen Harper has launched his book tour by preemptively gagging any journalist interviewing him to avoid any unexpected questions. CTV’s Question Period ho…
Ontario PCs warn dealing pot could land you 4 years in Queens Park
TORONTO – With the imminent legalization of pot next week, Ontario’s provincial government has released new ads warning that illegal sales of pot could land them four years as a Premier. “T…
Conservation officers safely tranquilize municipal elections candidate wandering through neighbourhood
WHITEHORSE – A vote hungry municipal candidate roaming through the Whitehorse neighbourhood of Riverdale was safely removed by conservation officers yesterday. The 185 lbs pamphlet-wielding…
Ontario Medical Association apologizes for calling recreational cannabis a gateway drug by offering free opioid prescriptions
TORONTO – OMA President Dr Nadia Alam has issued an apology to all recreational cannabis users for calling the soon-to-be-legal substance a gateway drug and is offering free prescriptions t…
Will Canada’s dairy industry be affected by the discovery of a distant, earth-like planet that may produce and export milk?
OTTAWA – The discovery of a far-away dwarf planet on the outer limits beyond Pluto has many Canadians asking the same question: how will this affect Canada’s supply management system of its…
Trade war over: Remembering our brave economists
OTTAWA – With the great macroeconomic conflict that pitted Canada against its American foe all but over, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau marked the occasion to remember the veterans of Canada…
Man reviewing credit card bill horrified to discover he the anonymous $1,000 tipping hero
STRATFORD, ON – Local man Daniel Lark was shocked to learn of his heroic actions when he accidentally tipped a server $1,000 for a $20 meal while preparing to pay his monthly VISA bill. “Oh…
