HOUSTON, TX – After passing one year ago today while undergoing treatment for esophageal cancer, the wandering ethereal remains of author and staunch skeptic Christopher Hitchens continues …
Santa lays off hundreds of elves, blames Obamacare
NORTH POLE – Santa Claus, the perennial bringer of Christmas joy, laid off 244 worker elves yesterday, while slashing hours and benefits to those who remain, citing costs of the Obamacare m…
Paul Ryan to climb own widow’s peak
JANESVILLE, WI – Paul Ryan, the notoriously athletic and daring former vice-presidential candidate, has chosen to relax from the grueling campaign trail by taking on the monumental task of …
Bored CERN scientists discover what happens to cat in Large Hadron Collider
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – Researchers at CERN, left with little to do after completing the majority of experimentation toward the confirmation of the Higgs Boson, put a live cat into the Large …
Vampire lesbians in movies are much more attractive than actual vampire lesbians
By Melvin Silver PhD Candidate in Cinema Studies at the University of Toronto Vampire lesbians are a staple of horror films, spawning one of my favorite sub-genres. From the early and subtle appr…
Man’s stroke ignored at zombie walk
TORONTO – Tragedy struck at Trinity Bellwoods Park yesterday when a man’s stroke symptoms were mistaken for a convincing zombie performance at this year’s Zombie Walk in the Park. Derek Riz…
Four bankers killed after giant novelty cheque bounces
MISSISSAUGA, ON – After receiving a deposit from a charity golf tournament, four Bank of Montreal employees found out the endorser had insufficient funds the hard way. Two tellers, a mortgage con…
