Point: I love riding my Sea-Doo at the cottage By: Brayden Gregorsen I have worked hard to get where I am today. And you have too. That is why we deserve to live take pleasure in the simple thing…
Stephen Harper resigns admitting Prime Ministership ‘just an art project’
OTTAWA – Shortly after Chris Lloyd, the Conservative Party candidate running against Liberal leader Justin Trudeau in the Quebec riding of Papineau, turned in his resignation by stating tha…
Old woman looking at photo album with grandchildren just making it up as she goes
CAMBRIDGE, ON – At Green Lake Retirement Community on Thursday, Bertha Hallsworth, 82, was just making up names and stories about the pictures of people while looking at a photo album with …
Republicans looking forward to using less racism, more sexism
WASHINGTON D.C. – In the wake of Hillary Clinton’s announcement that she will be running for President of the United States of America, many Republicans are relieved that they will be able …
Jurors in Mike Duffy trial each receive mysterious $90,000 cheque
OTTAWA – Before the start of what will be the political trial of the year, the jurors deciding the fate of embattled Senator Mike Duffy have inexplicably all received a cheque for $90,000. …
Stephen Harper extends Canada’s arctic territory by peeing on North Pole
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced today that the United Nations has accepted his proposed extension to Canada’s arctic border after providing proof that he had urinated on th…
Edward Snowden sick of Vladimir Putin just wanting to hang out all the time
MOSCOW – According to sources, NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden is getting sick and tired of having to spend much of his day “chilling” with Russian President, Vladimir Putin. Snowden, who …
Terrorists applaud anti-terror legislation for eroding much-hated freedom
OTTAWA – Militant Islamic groups from around the world have applauded Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s recently passed anti-terror legislation for chipping away at the Western-democ…
Man on deathbed asks children for iPhone 6
TORONTO – A 68 year-old man suffering from pancreatic cancer has asked his adult children to purchase him the new iPhone 6 so he can cross ‘experiencing all of Apple’s new features…
Puppy Bowl rocked by accusations squeaky balls intentionally deflated
LOS ANGELES – Animal Planet executives have been inundated with accusations that the squeaky balls used during the annual Puppy Bowl were severely deflated to fit the needs of lead quarter …
