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BURNABY, BC – 32-year-old jogger Walter Finnesky made the decision to run faster on Tuesday.
“I was puttering along, and this kid rides by so slowly on a bike,” Finnesky said. “So I picked up the pace and next thing you know, I’m passing him.”
Buoyed by his success at outrunning a child, Finnesky decided to make the transition from jogging to a flat-out sprint.
“I realized I may as well go full tilt. It’s a better work out, I cover more ground, and, who knows, a pretty girl might notice me. I really can’t see any drawbacks to sprinting when I jog.”
Five minutes and four blocks later, Finnesky was witnessed puking into a hedge and lying on his back in the shade.
