LOS ANGELES, CA – Responding to widespread praise for his performance in the new film Marty Supreme, businessman and television personality Kevin O’Leary revealed that what critics are calling “surprisingly strong acting” is simply the product of years of duplicity regarding his fault in a boating tragedy.
“My preparation started years before cameras ever rolled,” said O’Leary, referencing that late summer in Ontario cottage country, which he refers to as “the most rigorous rehearsal period of my life”.
“People think memorizing lines is hard. Try memorizing a full narrative while boats, lawyers, and public opinion are all moving at different speeds.”
“I keep hearing that I really ‘disappeared into the role’,” O’Leary continued, clarifying that the blend of emotional detachment, relentless self-assurance, and dead-eyed commitment to one’s personal version of reality that makes for great acting has always come naturally to him.
“From boardrooms with startups on the brink of an IPO to, famously, that lake in Ontario, I’ve spent years perfecting the art of being narratively nowhere near the helm when things go wrong.”
“Who needs method acting,” O’Leary added, “when you’ve been acting methodically your entire life?”
“Of course, a lot of the credit also goes to my longtime scene partner, my wife,” O’Leary added.
“Every great actor needs someone willing to step in when things get messy,” he said. “On set, that means taking the fall for blown takes. Off set, it means taking the fall when the whole production goes sideways.”
“She has an incredible instinct for stepping in at exactly the moment accountability becomes inconvenient for me” O’Leary added. “That kind of timing can’t be taught.”
Asked whether the role marks a new artistic chapter, O’Leary dismissed the suggestion.
“Frankly, I don’t believe in art,” he said. “But if people insist on projecting narrative depth onto my personality disorder, I might as well collect royalties on it.”
