Four months ago, Jesse Sparks, 13, thought she was living the life of a normal teen.
But shortly after starting high school, she began suffering bouts of extreme confusion. Now home-schooled and undergoing group counselling sessions, Sparks wonders if she will ever be able to cope with real life.
“School never seemed right. It all seemed so different from what I was led to believe on TV,” said Sparks, whose confusion began when she found out that her high school only allotted three minutes to walk from one class to the next.
“How did this make any sense? How was I going to have time to break-up with my boyfriend in only three minutes?” Sparks said. “That’s not how it’s done on TV. That is not enough time to make a scene.”
Sparks suffers from Post-Dramatic TV-show Disorder, or PDTSD, a mental illness developed through repeated exposure to television shows portraying the lives of fictional teens.
She is not alone.
An alarming new study released by Health Canada found that 65% of today’s youths currently suffer from PDTSD while many are prone to develop the disorder.
Psychologist Anton Eisenberg encourages friends and family members of at risk teens to watch out for the early warning signs of the disorder.
“A teen with PDTSD resembles a regular teen, except more annoying. A lot of times you see an increase in bitchy eye-rolls, frequent use of the word ‘whatever’, and apathy towards anyone over the age of thirty, especially authority figures, or anyone who isn’t cute.”
According to Eisenberg, teens suffering from PDTSD involuntarily repeat the phrase, “It’s complicated,” using those two words to explain every aspect of their life, from why they failed ninth grade math to why they no longer support Justin Bieber.
Many teens affected by PDTSD lead normal lives while in the presence of their similarly disturbed peers. However, when they are faced with situations that require them to accept the difference between television and reality, PDTSD can be debilitating.
Sparks chose to avoid the three minute rule, instead spending hours in the hallways, verbally expressing her angst and leaning against lockers in an attempt to look thoughtful. The school’s guidance counselor intervened, explaining to Sparks that she was showing signs of PDTSD.
“[The guidance counselor] asked me a couple of questions,” Sparks explained. “Like, ‘Can you name all of the Spielberg posters on Dawson’s bedroom walls?’ or ‘What was the original name of Seth’s comic book project?’ I answered them all correctly, and that’s when he was certain I had PDTSD.”
“People just don’t understand my condition,” continued Sparks. “They treat me different. It’s complicated.”
Though Sparks is undergoing treatment, she still experiences recurrent nightmares of Marissa shooting Ryan’s brother, Marissa’s drunken blackouts, and Marissa’s death.
In more severe cases of PDTSD, the affected teens fully adopt the behaviour, mannerisms, and attitude observed in the characters of their favourite teen dramas. This can cause a dangerous disconnect with real life, in which teens struggle to come to terms with circumstances that do not match the outcomes typical to television storylines.
Just last week tragedy struck when 15 year-old Liane Lowski drowned in the Credit River. Under the impression that she was Joey Potter, Lowski mimicked a classic “Joey and Dawson” moment. She rowed her father’s fishing boat to her boyfriend’s house at just after three in the morning, but the boat tipped halfway there, and Lowski was found dead the following afternoon.
“Our daughter didn’t know what she was doing,” said Mrs. Lowski during a phone interview. “Joey made it seem so simple, so romantic. How was Liane supposed to know that there was actually a rope pulling the boat along and Mrs. Holmes never had to do a damn stroke?”
Added Mr. Lowski, “We put, ‘Liane Lowski: jumped the shark, 2010’ on her tombstone. She would’ve liked that.”
TV networks deny any connection to PDTSD, stating that their shows use satirical depictions of teenage behaviour, offering cautionary tales in the process.
Eisenberg disagrees, arguing that there’s a strong correlation between the number of hours spent watching teen dramas and the severity of the disorder. His research also suggests that early intervention can prevent PDTSD from lingering into adulthood.
“It is advised that teens begin a group counseling session at the immediate onset of symptoms,” Eisenberg said.
“We separate the teens from all television programming and burn their DVD boxsets in a cleansing ritual. Outdoor stimulation is integral to their re-attachment to reality, but we must be very careful to avoid any links with the television shows. Even one creek, one California-esque sunset, and the teen will immediately relapse.”
Added Eisenberg, “It’s complicated.”
