OTTAWA – The Harper government is demonstrating its profound empathy for the disenfranchised political class with a $68,000 lunch program for disadvantaged PMO staff and cabinet ministers.
“It’s not like we’re feeding your neighbors kids,” said Minister of industry James Moore. “We’re giving sustenance to the hungry, hard working, and industrious PMO staff that are the foundation upon which this country was built.”
The PMO’s “Head-of-Government Start Program” provides needy politicos, MPs and Senators who don’t normally have access to a well-balanced diet of caviar, Kobe steaks or lobsters sandwiches at their homes.
“When working with PMO staffers it’s important to realize they can be cranky because of malnourishment,” warns PMO Chief of Staff Ray Novak. “I mean these guys are making tops $178,800 a year. After taxes that’s barely enough to send their kids to a second rate private school, not to mention the Armani only PMO dress code. How are they supposed to afford takeout from Chateau Laurier on such a limited budget?”
The Prime Minister had steadfast support for an important Conservative community program. “Let’s be clear, just because we’re feeding the hungry in my office with taxpayer dollars doesn’t mean we’ve lost sight of our fiscal agenda,” assured Prime Minister Harper. “We can’t have cabinet ministers and staffers learn how to cut social programs and balance the budget on an empty stomach.”
At press time, PMO staffers were being put in the corner for their rambunctious behavior after too much pop at the Privy Council pizza party.
