MONTREAL – After a morale-boosting spa day, Montreal’s arson squad returned to work yesterday only to find their offices destroyed by arson.
“It’s been a long couple months for us. We’ve been working a lot of overtime on these arson cases and the team needed a day to regroup,” said crestfallen and well exfoliated Montreal Police spokesperson Annie Lemieux.
“This is a devastating loss for us,” Lemieux added, “we’ll never be able to replace our DVD box set of Columbo signed by the man himself, Peter Falk.”
Montreal Fire Chief Martin Farmer was quick to criticize the arson squad.
“You don’t see us firefighters taking spa days,” he said. “Sure we sit on deck chairs and barbecue beside the trucks, but we are always ready. ”
Farmer added that the destruction of the arson squad’s offices could have been prevented if they had working sprinklers. “But they had forgotten to pay their water bill,” he lamented, “and they didn’t have insurance.”
Even if the fire was preventable, it has devastated the morale to the point where another spa day has already been scheduled.
