LOS ANGELES – Citing audience demand, the major TV studios announced a slate of new television programs targeted at viewers who watch but ceaselessly complain about their shows. Executives say the new series have been developed based on criticism gathered from comments left on Reddit, Facebook, and YouTube.
“They’re chasing an interesting demographic,” says University of Maine Professor of Streaming Media Content Karine Lyng. “They loyally watch the shows yet claim they’re all terrible because of various factors like casting, storylines, and ‘bad writing.’ So now they’re going to create content specifically drawn from their complaints. Take Star Trek. Nobody hates Star Trek like people in the comments.”
In response to criticism from male fans, Paramount+ has announced that production has begun on Star Trek: Patriot. A more masculine take on the franchise, the show sees the all-American, all-male crew of the USS Starship Alpha bringing back capitalism to the Federation, expelling non-humans from Earth, and forcing regime change on Cardassia.
“Does this show fit in with the general gestalt of the franchise? No, it sounds awful,” says Lyng. “But they figured if they throw red meat to these guys, they’ll eat it up. At least they’ll be spared the sight of a woman captain.”
Netflix is producing a Bridgerton inspired spin-off that responds to complaints about lack of historical accuracy. Smegington promises extreme historical accuracy that dispenses with colour blind casting in favour of realistic depictions of food borne illnesses common to the era before the acceptance of germ theory.
“I guess an entire episode of the Queen dealing with dysentery is gonna knock their socks off,” says Lyng.
Smegington showrunner Georgina Bachman says it’s been a learning curve, writing to satisfy the biggest online critics.
“Most period romances lack historical accuracy in that they’re really just enjoyable, sanitized fantasies. But these cranks never seem to complain when a costume designer creates the wrong style of bustle for that time period,” she says. “But it’s the Black woman wearing the bustle that gets them throwing their toys out of the crib.”
“They want realism so that’s what they’re gonna get. For the amount of money we’ve spent getting the lead actress’s teeth to look as diseased as that, Smegington had better be the biggest TV show on the planet.”
For its part, HBO has announced pre-production has begun in Belfast of the latest entry in the Game of Thrones universe: Westeros: Oops! All Dragons! HBO promises fans will love the all-dragon cast that finally drops the tiresome humans. Instead, the new series will focus on almost all dragon battles with time every week for hot dragon sex. The first season will air in 2028 with an already greenlit second season to air in late 2033.
