Osheaga, Quebec – Avid music festival goer Larry Rockton is in the middle of an epic story about an expensive music festival he went to recently that sounds like the worst experience a person could get involved with.
“It was super worth the $700,” explained Larry to his group of concerned friends. “The venue was so huge you couldn’t even see the talent or the massive screens that had the talent on them. And the talent is really nicely spread out over three days so after 8 hours of bands you don’t like, you get an hour of good music. A great deal.”
One of Larry’s favourite experiences from the festival was the wait to use the toilets, as he said meeting people who really need to pee while wading through a river of sewage is the best way to make friends. Larry also defended the lack of choice when it came to food and beverages as part of the experience, as he claims ‘we are all slaves to choices these days.
“My phone only died twice,” argued Larry. “And once it did, that’s when you really get to enjoy the concert because you’re not recording and editing your videos and posts anymore. Sure you lose track of your friends but then you just head to the toilets and make some new ones! Or you can just go buy a $15 Coke.”
While it did rain during the festival, Larry insisted his phone had already died, and he was already freezing, so ‘no harm no foul.’ When asked about over-crowding, Larry explained that the crowds are filled up like that so everyone can get stronger by catching more germs, meaning everyone not at the expensive concert will die sooner.
“I would have easily paid $1500 to go, which I eventually did,” Larry admitted. “But when you think about it, for a concert, all the friends you make, the drinks, the food, and the gas, and the hospital stay, at the end of the day, it really costs $2500.”
