OTTAWA – Onlookers at high end restaurant La Rivière report spotting celebrity couple Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau on a recent date, during which the former Prime Minister repeatedly drew favourable comparisons between himself and New York City mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani.
“We’re both good looking, we both have great hair, and we are both currently equally as popular among young people,” insisted Trudeau, as Perry quietly sipped her water.
Nearby diners report that this line of conversation continued through the entire meal, during which the 53-year-old Trudeau insisted that he and the 34-year-old Mamdani were “basically equally young”.
“He really wouldn’t let it go,” notes socialite Grace Vanders, who witnessed the evening. “Trudeau kept insisting that he was ‘possibly even better at social media’ than Mamdani, before handing Ms. Perry his phone and insisting she film a TikTok of him doing a plank.”
Wait staff report that the couple’s evening grew even more animated as returns from the New York mayoral race appeared online, announcing Zohran Mamdani as having won a decisive victory.
“That was when the former PM really got a squirrelly look in his eyes,” recalls Jake Fenton, longtime bartender at La Rivière. “He started circulating around the restaurant offering selfies to all the diners, while Katy Perry sat alone on a hushed call with her publicist.”
At press time the Right Honourable Justin Trudeau’s repeated offers to host Zohran Mamdani on a celebratory snowboarding trip have as of yet gone unanswered.
