EDMONTON – ABS Innovations newest hire quit today citing the immense psychological strain from the pressure of having to deliver a sufficiently “fun” fact about herself in her first week.
Mica Rivera was initially excited about landing her new job as an Accounts Manager. However, it soon became clear that her manager was expecting her to deliver a fun fact at her first team meeting as a way of breaking the ice and helping the rest of the team get to know her. The days leading up to the team meeting were met with sleepless nights and frantic text chains.
“I spent the night posting potential ideas in my friend group chat. I needs to be the perfect fact: something that says I love adventure, I’m a little freaky but not too freaky, and I’m also mundane live a regular life,” stressed Rivera. “My friends said all of my fun facts were things to either discuss with my doctor or my therapist, something about how they reveal trauma and a potential medical condition.”
The HR recruiter, Sarah Billings, was surprised that Rivera quit after performing so well during her interviews. “Some people can’t handle being a part of a high-pressure, highly collaborative team,” revealed Billings. “Sharing fun facts builds bonds. It’s about vulnerability. If you can’t trust the people on your team with the fact you once pooped your pants on a date and had to try to hide while you sat through The Brutalist, how are we supposed to trust you with a Q4 sales strategy?”
Workplace behaviour expert, Dr. Luke Northern, claims that pressure to deliver whimsy on demand is one of the main sources of burn-out for Gen Z. “Forcing employees to reveal personal quirks is deeply psychologically damaging. The fear that you have nothing interesting to share about yourself cause you’re broke so you never could afford any of the activities that lead to fun facts,” shared Dr. Northern. “The judging stares, while everyone determines if it was sufficiently fun enough to be shared, the passive-aggressive ‘interesting’ when you don’t pass this imaginary test. I’m sorry I have to take a break now.”
Rivera is currently looking for a position in a less personally engaging environment while ABS Innovations has reposted the Accounts Manager position and is revamping its hiring process to include a ‘Fun Fact potential’ screening interview.
