Guelph, ON – Have you ever wondered about the secret to a more successful life? It turns out it’s confidence, according to beautiful people born into generational wealth.
Decades of psychological and sociological research have found a strong correlation between socioeconomic status, attractiveness, and measures of workplace success. However, if you ask hot, rich people, they have a different explanation.
“Most people don’t realize how much stuff you can get when you just ask for it,” says Mark Lexington, whose parents paid for his Ivy League education and whose body perfectly meets the standards of beauty that his own ancestors forced upon society. “Weekly raises, monthly promotions, Fridays off to mentally prepare for the weekend and Mondays off to prepare for the week… All you need is the confidence to ask.”
Lexington does not have a background in the study of human behavior, spending his summers as a lifeguard and his winters as a ski instructor. However, he has a certain quality that makes his words seem more important than other people’s words.
“The key to success has been right under your nose,” says Lexington, who also has perfect teeth (attained through prohibitively expensive orthodontics) under his nose.
Confidence doesn’t just work in the office. It’s helpful for those who work remotely, too, according to exceptionally wealthy and good-looking sources.
“I built up the confidence to turn on my camera during Zoom meetings, and suddenly everyone was so much nicer to me,” says Amber Montgomery, whose face perfectly fits the golden ratio and whose home office was featured in Architectural Digest. “The CEO of my company is always such a jerk over email. But then we met over Zoom and he gave me a 51% stake in the business.”
Simply put, there isn’t anything you can’t accomplish when other people are subconsciously willing to bend over backward to get you to like them.
“Confidence is everything,” says surgeon Dr. Alphonso Mills, who makes Grey’s Anatomy look like a show about doctors of average income and attractiveness. “I never would’ve gotten into med school without the confidence to pay someone else to write the MCAT for me.”
Further reports from beautiful and wealthy sources suggest confidence is also the key to fashion sense, breaking into the film industry, and underwater welding.
