OTTAWA: A new poll by Abacus has found that the Liberals support has plummeted so low that the only support they have left is the Conservative Premiers who get to remain popular while Canadians blame Trudeau for things that are technically their domain.
“In the last two weeks we’ve seen the Liberals totally fall off in Ontario,” said polling analyst Mark Dunn. “The only guy we found who plans to vote for them is this one guy in Etobicoke who said he really likes how Ontario’s housing crisis has become a federal issue somehow.”
“Then he spent twenty minutes telling me how awesome tunnels are until I hung up on him.”
Despite their many political differences with Trudeau, the Premiers of many of our countries provinces say they really appreciate how he just stands there and takes all the hits for them, like a punching bag with good hair.
“If Albertans weren’t so obsessed with chanting “Fuck Trudeau” they might notice I’m selling off their healthcare system,” said Danielle Smith.
“I’m really going to miss him when he’s gone,” she added, wiping away tears.
For their part Liberals disputed that their support has fallen so much and pointed to several other groups who continue to support Justin Trudeau including: people who slipped into a coma in 2018 and just woke up, liberal American talk show hosts, and most Liberal MPs.
