WORLDWIDE – Sources report that the historic landmark you travelled thousands of miles to witness is currently under construction, and will remain so as long as you are in the country.
“Aw man, I’ve been planning this trip since forever” declared Cindy Miller, a dejected post-grad student backpacking through Europe. “In London, Big Ben was closed for historic restoration. In Rome, half the Colosseum was shut down due to scheduled maintenance. And don’t get me started about Paris – la ville lumière? More like la ville de scaffolding!?! Why didn’t anyone say anything?”
According to local sources, the moment your flight touches down at 6:58am, that breathtaking landmark will close, and then be scheduled to open five minutes after your departing flight takes off.
“I hiked seven days to witness this view,” added a breathless Rick Salinas from the top of Machu Picchu. “Seven! Only to find that it’s completely roped off, with a little sign taped to a dinky pylon declaring restoration in process until next Tuesday… which is when I leave.”
“How the hell do you restorate a sunrise over the Andes mountains?!?”
According to insiders, Mount Everest is currently closed for repairs, the Sahara desert is temporarily blocked off due to a water main break, and the entire Great Wall Of China is covered in tarps after the Mongolians finally got through.
“They shut off Niagara Falls,” exclaimed Tracey McFry, an American who drove nine hours to see the famed waterfall. “NIAGARA FALLS. If I knew it would be under construction, I wouldn’t have gone but when I checked the website, it was down because it was also under construction.”
At press time, the Museum of Landmark Construction is reportedly the best thing you’ve ever seen.
