LAS VEGAS – Golden Knights player Connor Holmdenberg has announced he will be ready to play in Game 1 of the upcoming Stanley Cup Playoffs, despite the fact that he (and his 6.7 million dollar cap hit) was declared deceased by the team right before the NHL’s annual trade deadline back in March.
“Obviously when we reported to the league that Connor would need to be placed on LTIR due to his having passed away we did not expect him to be back in time for the playoffs,” said Knights GM Kelly McCrimmon. “But, thanks to Connor’s hard work and the expertise of our medical staff, we’re pleased to report that he will be alive again in time to help us chase another championship.”
“He definitely will still be dead during our last regular season game when the Salary Cap still exists though. That’s important to remember.”
Vegas was able to use Holmdenberg’s death to lessen their Salary Cap, freeing up enough room for a top 6 winger and a shut down D to be acquired via trade, both of whom are expected to suffer their own grievous, fatal but temporary injuries before next year’s deadline.
“I’m just happy that I can come back and try to help my team,” said Holmdenberg after practice, where he hoped to shake off the rust and rigor mortis.
Asked whether Holmdenberg’s sudden resurrection was fair to other teams in the league McCrimmon was defiant.
“Look, it’s a competitive league. And we’d be crazy not to use techniques from the 1990 movie Flatliners to convince the head office a player was dead in order to artificially lower our Cap and boost our chances of winning the Cup.”
“Also we’re not returning the 10 million dollar life insurance payout we got either.”
