Brantford, ON – This morning adorable toddler Liam O’Reilly, 3, declared that Daylight Saving Time was a fucking joke and he would arise at his normal hour, even if that was technically now in the middle of the night.
“Daylight Saving Time is nothing but an ancient relic of an agrarian society that we have long since outgrown, and I refuse to be bound by it’s ridiculous constraints,” whispered O’Reilly into your ear at 5:15am. “Now wake up and take in the glorious as fuck sunrise with me and celebrate our freedom from our farmer overlords.”
“Also, can I have some juice?”
Toddlers across the country have expressed their refusal to obey the clock arbitrarily moving back an hour. As not all were able to find the words like Liam some chose to simply run into their parent’s dark bedroom and jump directly onto their father’s testicles or mother’s breasts.
“Get up Get up Get up Get up Get up Get up Get up Get up Get up Get up Get up Get up Get up Get up Get up Get up Get up Get up GEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!” said Cindy, 4, from Chatham, summing up toddlers’ feelings on the subject nicely.
In related news, the nation’s dogs announced that they were fine with Daylight Saving Time, but just fyi they took a shit on your living room rug.
