TORONTO – Breaking through intense political gridlock, the Toronto Council of Me(a)g(h)ans struck a deal late last night to finally standardize the spelling of their name.
“On behalf of Megan, Meaghan, Megyn, Meagan, and Meggan, I’m proud to announce we are now collectively known as Meagghayn,” said the director formerly known as Meaghan. “It’s long and cumbersome, but it’s how we spell our name now.”
This momentous occasion has been decades in the making, with rival Meagghayn fractions jockeying for years to have their letters included the most. The stalemate was broken when the director finally allowed more radical spellings to be included in the mix. “We’re going to get this done even if we have to put a god-damn ‘Y’ in it.”
Despite the Director’s effort to bring everyone into the fold, it was a tight final vote thanks to a surprise filibuster from the Weird Spelling Coalition led by Mhegan, a long-time council member who still insists her name is the one true spelling. Her complaints were echoed by the Sara(h) subcommittee, who are still debating if the ‘H’ is really necessary, as well as the Circle of Kirstens who argued that standardizing a name is completely impossible.
Outside observers are hoping this new standardized spelling will make buying personalized keychains easier, and nearby Starbucks employees have been reported celebrating their decreased workload by deliberately spelling Geoffrey with a J.
At press time, the Meagghayns were reportedly close to a decision on if its pronounced Meg-Han or May-Gan, as well as if Mee-Gan should be removed from the council.
