VANCOUVER – John Sullivan, the man you are currently chatting with at a mutual friend’s party, has already completely forgotten the awesome movie you recommended he watch, despite the fact that he just enthusiastically stated that he would “add it to the list!”
“Yeah, dude, thanks for the suggestion!” Sullivan nodded, vaguely gesticulating at his phone as if to communicate that he had written your suggestion down, even though he clearly hadn’t. “I’m always looking for new films to watch, and that, um, one you just said sounds right up my alley. Really looking forward to watching… it.”
Onlookers at the party reported seeing John’s eyes immediately glaze over the second you mentioned the film’s title, with one party guest, Jennifer Park, confessing her doubts as to whether or not Sullivan would follow through.
“Last year I told him he should check out House M.D.,” she said, hurt creeping over her face. “He promised me that he’d put it at ‘the top’ of his list, but he still doesn’t know what I’m talking about when I mention plots or characters from the show. How long can one man’s list be that he hasn’t gotten to everyone’s favourite drug-addled doctor yet?”
Psychologist Jodie Watson explained that Sullivan’s blatant lie is actually an hereditary human instinct designed to avoid conflict.
“It’s a little-known fact that no one in history has ever actually created a ‘list’ based on other people’s movie or television recommendations,” she said. “‘The List’ is an urban myth created to make us feel better about disregarding suggestions we inherently feel are inferior. Sullivan isn’t absent-minded; he’s just too chicken to admit he couldn’t give a shit.”
At press time, Sullivan was seen watching a terrible movie he has already watched twenty times this month.
