CANADA – The country’s architects have admitted they have no idea what they’re doing when it comes to designing any building.
“I just make shit up as I go along,” confessed Lennox Elm who strictly uses MS Paint to design her projects. “Should a wall go there? Yeah, why the hell not. Block out all forms of natural sunlight? Sure. All I know is this project is going to get approved, go over budget, and nobody’s going to like it.”
Critics have pointed to recent designs such as the Chateau Laurier expansion barcode design or the Edmonton Library’s Galactic Empire supply ship scheme as aesthetically unpleasing, but Canada’s building designers say they could have done much worse.
“One time, I thought I was designing a prison instead of revamping a museum,” said Leonard Chui who created a jumbled pile of sheet metal, iron bars, and cement blocks over a beloved building. “I just titled it ‘post-deconstructivism’ and called it a day.”
When revamping heritage structures, “winging it” has been a common design method.
“If it’s a heritage building, shouldn’t we remember all the bad things that happened in our history?” rhetorically asked one architect. “It’s an homage to all the horrible designs out there.”
Meanwhile, the City of Ottawa has announced they will be constructing an identical Chateau Laurier so the nation’s capital will have a second chance at ruining it.
