CANADA — Following reports that former UK Foreign Minister Boris Johnson has been building an alliance with Trump advisor Steve Bannon, his recent departure from Parliament, and numerous other related stories, the nation has reportedly enjoyed a much-needed laugh after being reminded of how Mr. Johnson’s face, body and hair appear.
“It’s been a while since I’ve turned my mind to how his hair looks like it’s been photoshopped on,” Kate Yir of Saskatoon told reporters. “But now that I picture it, it really is the best mental pick-me-up I’ve had in a long time.”
“I mean, he looks the way a blood sausage smells, you know?”
While Johnson’s advocacy for Brexit and surprise resignation as Foreign Minister, along with numerous high-profile gaffes, have kept him in the news for many years, his image has dipped in and out of public consciousness during that time.
The moment of remembering what Boris Johnson looks like, however, has reportedly come at a welcome time for the nation.
“Honestly the news cycle has been so bleak lately—what with family separation, gun violence, a trade war. Just having a moment to quietly reflect on how incredibly funny-looking Boris Johnson is really helped me get through the day,” Tim Rawl of Orilla stated.
Although remembering what Boris Johnson looks like is a welcome distraction, some warn that dwelling too much on the haystack-like hair, ruddy complexion, and generally silly appearance of the British politician can reduce the effectiveness of thinking about it.
“Sure, Boris Johnson looks incredibly funny the first time you picture that one photo of him wearing a bike helmet that’s literally falling down his face,” Jane Waren of Kelowna told reporters. “He looks like an aristocrat out of a Wodehouse novel combined with a poorly assembled Mr. Potato Head.”
“But before you know it, you’re image searching every ridiculous picture he’s ever taken and the appeal really wears off. You’ve gotta keep it to thinking about what he looks like 2-3 times a year, tops. Then it’ll really brighten your day.”
Waren then paused to google “Boris Johnson funny hat” just to see if anything came up.
At press time, the Nation has shifted to sharing a moment of downcast silence as it considers how much power Johnson actually wields.
