WINNIPEG — What appeared to be a routine catch-up call took a dark turn when your mother, Moya Fitzpatrick, 65, casually informed you that your uncle Jason had passed away.
“She didn’t even lead with it,” stated Moya’s visibly-shocked progeny. “She spent 15 minutes describing an argument she had with someone in her Weight Watchers group, and then mentioned that she was missing the next meeting because of Uncle Jay’s funeral.”
Jason Fitzpatrick, 75 passed away peacefully on Tuesday. A fact communicated to his you 3 full calendar days after the fact, during a regular catch up with your mother.
“He used to take me fishing every summer,” reported you, to a similarly perplexed friend. “I just want to process the death without hearing about what my Mum thinks is going to go into the old Zellers building.”
Witnesses report, that, after dropping the news of your beloved uncle’s demise, Moya immediately pivoted to discussing last night’s episode of Bull.
“I guess I’m a terrible mother because I have more going in my life then calling my crybaby offspring and holding their hand every time someone dies,” said Moya. “This is just like that time you found out I lied about Smiles (your childhood cat) running away, but you found out he got ran over.”
At press time your father called to talk about the Jets, and how many Vietnamese live on the street now.
