TORONTO – Shattering the expectation of internet memes everywhere, new research out of the University of Toronto indicates that full incidents of Netflix and chilling combined are at historic low levels, with many Netflixings occurring completely devoid of chilling at all or even occasionally alongside “self-chilling.”
“Our research has shown that, often when Netflix begins, chilling is eschewed in favour of Family Guy binges or live-tweeting Black Mirror episodes,” said head researcher Dr. Naseem Mirza. “When chilling does coincide with Netflix, it’s often due to a mixture of chill-enhancing beverages and a lack of updated content, which is becoming more rare as Netflix’s popularity rises.”
The study goes on to note that, in nearly 70% of instances, only one party in the dynamic was interested in or even prepared for the chill while the other had a significant interest in watching the latest Netflix original. It is believed this confusion stems from the actual use of the term “Netflix” in proposing a Netflix and chill scenario.
Dr. Mirza’s team, working from the data to suggest this disparity, then ventured to determine why it was that chilling had taken such a back seat to Netflix. In a series of double blind tests, couples were observed in a Netflix scenario while a control group was given a placebo of basic cable. While the placebo group engaged in chilling or disappointed napping 60% of the time, the Netflix group engaged in chilling only 25% of the time.
“I wanted to chill,” said Paul, a 25-year-old study participant who recently sat through the entire runtime of Netflix’s Bright. “It’s just that I watch it on my phone and it’s hard to hold it up while undoing my belt.”
“The culprit is clearly the quality of content on Netflix,” Dr. Mirza concluded. “The last time we experienced chilling levels this low was when Netflix was mailing out DVDs and people just got too bored for it.”
A spokesperson for Netflix, however, did suggest that people could try chilling in the intermissions between episodes before the autoplay function kicks in.
“There’s just too much good stuff to watch. Have you seen Jessica Jones? Orange is the New Black? Bojack Horseman? Who has time to chill during that?” Dr. Mirza concluded.
A concurrent study at the University of British Columbia on CraveTV and chill has determined that The Handmaid’s Tale absolutely destroys chill while Letterkenny leads to surprisingly high levels.
