GUELPH, ON – Early reports indicate that rugby spectator Marco Kelley has absolutely no idea about the rules of rugby union gameplay.
For roughly 20 minutes, Kelley blended in with the other 50 fans as he struggled to realize that the match was not football, soccer, or some kind of violent version of European Quidditch.
During the game, the 22-year-old clapped along with everyone else while mistaking a scrum as an attempt to look for a lost contact lens.
“Someone should get a penalty for that!” complained the fourth year biology student after a clean tackle was made by a player from the side he was not cheering for. “That’s got to be a two minute penalty, ref!”
At press time, Kelley thought the term ‘hooker’ was rather derogatory and there was no need for slandering anyone.
