GATINEAU PARK – Andrew Scheer was mistakenly shot with a tranquilizer earlier today, after the Opposition leader was spotted wandering through the trees of Gatineau Park without a shirt on.
“Oh mon Dieu!” cried park ranger Eric Gagnon, who had been alerted to Scheer’s presence by several concerned campers. “It is… who is this?”
Onlookers report that Scheer seemed surprised as the dart hit him, but smiled when he noticed the nearby campers and stumbled towards them, attempting to be as photogenic as possible while the depressants entered his bloodstream.
“I think I see some voters over there,” said Scheer, half-naked and slurring. “Lets all take a photo, and I’ll tell you about the Liberals’ tax reforggghhhh.”
Conservative staffers, who quickly arrived to retrieve Scheer’s comatose body, explained that he was just trying to show voters what a fun cool guy he could be.
“Nope, didn’t work,” said camper Laurent Wong, who was spending the weekend at the park with his family. “My kids were terrified. We saw his back at first and thought he was the loup-garou.”
Now awake after being doused with a bucket of cold water, Scheer has wandered into into a nearby cave, startling several bears both with his policy proposals and with the Autumn air’s effect on his nipples.
