Bilmington, MB- After years of activism, concerned citizen Wyatt DeVeers has finally drawn attention to the dilapidated structures plaguing the town after being flattened by a 400kg piece of town hall.
“After the northwest corner detached and crushed him, we realized DeVeers had a point about the infrastructure.” said Helen Brown, a member of the emergency city planning committee formed in wake of the incident. “Getting smashed to bits was a much smarter move than that rally he planned. I mean, all his letters to city council and social media campaigns were just so easy to ignore. Kind of ironic that he never spoke louder than under a block of concrete.”
DeVeers call to traction has also found support amongst those with other issues with the government.
“This is exactly why you can’t fight city hall. Because it’s bigger and will squish you if you mess with it.” Says Gibson Dodd, a writer for the local paper. “Those fat cats should be spending more on improving the town, and less on deathtraps. We won’t be safe until every building is completely torn down!”
At press time, the town had earmarked several million for emergency restoration, 90% of which is being put towards a bronze statue of DeVeers’ feet heroically sticking out from beneath a concrete block.
