ARKANSAS – Consultation of public records has revealed that several executed animals were found in areas near where the state of Arkansas would later go on to kill human beings.
“Violence towards animals almost always turns into violence towards people,” said FBI profiler Janet Beatty. “We knew we were dealing with a disturbed state when local dogs started disappearing, and turning up later on death row.”
According to the FBI, Arkansas began by starting fires, but quickly progressed to the point where it was administering capital punishment to wild animals, and eventually neighbourhood pets, such as Oklahoma’s budgie, and every cat in Missouri.
“It wasn’t until Arkansas incorporated as a territory in 1819 that it escalated to human victims,” said retired coroner Jesse Kwan, lighting a cigarette with shaking hands. “Hanging, electrocution, lethal injection, it doesn’t seem to matter to that sick son of a bitch.”
Kwan went on to say authorities should have known something was wrong with Arkansas, when the Norfolk Dam burst, effectively wetting the beds of most of the state’s adults.
Today, the state of Arkansas continues to elude justice. Criminologists suspect there may be as many as 31 serial murderer states at large in the USA.
