TORONTO – Feeling well-rested and in high spirits, local corporate lawyer Ron Chapnick has woken up this morning ready to verbally tear into a barista for any conceived imperfections in his morning coffee.
“It’s mornings like this that make me glad to be alive,” said Chapnick. “And so help me, if my cappuccino has even one bit less foam or more foam than I want I’m going to make that peon wish they’d just called in sick.”
After getting out of bed, Chapnick began his day’s preparations while whistling to himself, unaware of exactly when or why he would abandon ordinary norms of civilized behaviour, and ruin a young service worker’s day.
“I don’t know what it is, but I’m just in such a great mood today,” said Chapnick, whose voice will rise two octaves and thirty decibels because the Americano he orders ‘extra hot’ will be too extra hot. “Just look at that sun!”
At press time, Chapnick’s day had gotten even better after the sobbing barista at his local coffee shop said she’d just give him his order free of charge.
