NEW YORK – In a move that supporters insist shows he’s not the racist critics accuse him of being, U.S. President–elect Donald Trump has offered the nation’s Secretary of Housing and Urban Development post to Dr. Ben Carson, the real-estate mogul’s one black friend.
“Dr. Carson’s qualifications speak for themselves,” said Trump spokeswoman and Stormfront contributor Brenda Kelly. “I mean, just look at him.”
Kelly added that the appointment should come as no surprise to anyone familiar with Trump’s campaign, noting that the President-elect and his surrogates spent the bulk of the Republican primaries lauding Carson for his urban qualities, characterizing him as “super low energy,” violent, and mentally unstable.
“All anyone needs to do to know what we’re really saying,” she explained. “Is read between the lines.”
For his part, Carson is said to be overjoyed by the appointment, reacting to the call from Trump with an exuberant cry onlookers described as “nearly audible.” Sources close to the presumptive HUD say Carson has already put together a comprehensive proposal to alleviate urban poverty through programs that teach low-income families how to trade food stamps for magic beans, secure low-interest loans from imaginary rich friends, and use green crayons to draw their own currency.
“Urban problems require solutions from an urban mind,” offered one Carson insider. “And really, what could be more urban than a Yale-educated neurosurgeon who spent the overwhelming majority of his childhood living in a tree-lined, middle-class suburb?”
