NEW YORK — In an interview yesterday with CNN’s Anderson Cooper, Melania Trump sought to calm public concern about her husband’s attitude toward sexual assault by reminding voters that he has the moral agency of a young child.
“I really do understand why people get annoyed by Donald,” she said with an understanding smile, referring to the current Republican nominee for President of the United States. “Even I get annoyed with him sometimes. Believe me, it’s exhausting to have to take care of someone who’s always staying up past bedtime to send out mean tweets under the covers, and who keeps telling obvious lies to cover up naughty things he does.”
Mrs. Trump went on to explain that, while trying, the challenge of caring for a 70-year old with no empathy or impulse control is simply what makes being a wife so rewarding. “It’s the little things: like giving your husband a cookie after he doesn’t sexually assault a reporter, or getting him to finally admit that the New York Times building isn’t really ‘made of poo’. These small victories are what being a wife is all about.”
Mrs. Trump then reached out directly to the nation’s women, inviting them to reflect on their own experiences caring for grown men from whom they had no right to expect basic human decency.
“I realize that I am privileged and have a team of housekeepers and lawyers who can help me care for my little bundle of mischief,” she admitted with grace and frankness. “I can only imagine how hard it must be for a working-class mom with three kids when her husband perpetrates a string of sexual assaults or throws up spaghettios in Vladimir Putin’s lap.”
However, Mrs. Trump encouraged women to accept the things they cannot change and not be too hard on themselves.
“If you spend your life trying to make men not be terrible, you’re just going to be exhausted,” the 47-year old told Cooper. “I sometimes hear people talking about “men shouldn’t steal money” or “men shouldn’t rape people” or “men shouldn’t discriminate against black people”. Getting men to behave well is a process that takes at least 80 years, and ultimately never works.”
“Sometimes it’s better to stop trying to hold men accountable for things and just be accountable yourself. Being held accountable is a woman’s job, like Hillary Clinton being held accountable for 1990’s welfare reform legislation, for example.”
