TORONTO – Toronto’s annual Pride Parade was interrupted Sunday by a group of activists, themselves interrupted by other protesters who, in turn, were interrupted by other activists.
Black Lives Matter staged a sit in to protest police participation in the parade, but their display of defiance was stopped by a nude Greenpeace member protesting BLM’s use of colourful smoke grenades as they are a hazard.
“We totally support Black Lives Matter in their cause!” shouted a naked Greenpeace member displaying himself with all but a tiny plastic sign covering his genitals. “But Toronto Pride should not have allowed you to use artificial smoke, which contributes to metal particle pollution. This parade will not continue unless Pride prohibits their use!”
“Don’t listen to Greenpeace!” interrupted more activists representing Scientists for Evidence-Based Decisions who were blocking Greenpeace protesters barring the Black Lives Matter activists who were stopping the parade. “We’re not moving until Greenpeace admits there is nothing wrong with GMOs and their position only perpetuates world hunger.”
This move prompted a PETA activist covered in fake blood to interrupt the scientists and exclaim: “Screw the scientists! They test on animals! Pride shouldn’t allow these corporate sadists near the parade!”
BDS, local food, Idle No More, bicycle enthusiasts, and 50 other well-intentioned grassroots social groups including many of their splinter cells continued to block the parade route until their demands, some of which were contradictory, were met.
After an 8 hour delay and over 492 lists of demands signed between various groups, Pride resumed the parade, with many wondering what the hell they were celebrating in the first place.
