OTTAWA – After several attempts to recall the name of a specific famous actor, Canadian mothers continue to struggle to remember whom they are talking about.
“You know the guy”, said retired teacher and avid NCIS fan, Helen Miller. “He kind of looks like that guy from that action film with the car chase.” She continued “or was that a horror movie? There was definitely a car in it. And it was blue. Blue-ish. Maybe black?”
Many have tried to help these mothers by giving descriptions of actors, to no avail. “I’ve asked every possible question imaginable,” said police sketch artist, Kimberly Matheson. “At this point, I don’t even know if this person has a face.”
This issue has caused some to seek out professional help. “I’ve started seeing a therapist” admitted Jonathan O’Neil, a son from Halifax. “I’m really hoping they’ll know some actors I haven’t thought of yet.”
A recent breakthrough came from Jeffrey Bowman’s mom in British Columbia. “She said that the actor’s name was either, Burt or Samuel. So I said, it must be Samuel Jackson or Burt Reynolds? She said no, that he wasn’t in Lethal Weapon. Then I gave up.”
Dr. Meredith Huston from the institute of maternal memory explains that this is all due to a medical condition associated with childbirth. “The second a child is born the mother loses all ability to remember any actor’s name. Luckily the vast majority are still able to live completely normal lives. Normal, frustrating lives.”
Recent studies have proven that there’s no connection between these mother’s ability to remember and actor’s name and their long-term memory. Each mother was happy to reminisce for hours about that time their child peed their pants in grade two during the spring music recital as they sang ‘Down By The Bay’.
At press time, it was fucking Steve Buscemi.
