ROME — A Russian track and field’s athlete’s urine has spontaneously reacted with a testing cup during a routine drug test. The incident occurred some time after the very muscular long-jumper Vladimir Rostislav placed first at an international sporting event in Rome.
“The sterile cup and the subject’s specimen began to react with each other,” explained Maria DeSouza, a lab technician with the World Anti-Doping Agency. “Smoke then appeared until the cup was fully engulfed in flames. The entire Russian team’s urine samples have been destroyed with the ensuing fire.”
DeSouza has no idea what was in the Russian’s system now that all evidence has been eliminated.
According to sources, Rostislav’s blood sample has already started growing its own set of arms, legs, and sense of pride for the Motherland.
