KINGSTON, ON – Disappointed Tragically Hip fans who failed to get tickets to the band’s final tour still have some hope after reports indicate there are some available by viciously assaulting and robbing those who have them.
“I’m relieved that I still have another option,” said Sean Kirch of Waterloo who was unable to obtain tickets through legal means. “I first saw the Hip in 1991 and have been to every Toronto concert since. I better get my best dance shoes and crowbar ready.”
Many loyal followers of the Hip short on tickets have already began to identify and stalk unsuspecting vendors who have bragged on social media that they have tickets.
“It’s well worth the 5-10 years I will spend in a federal penitentiary as I could experience Millhaven Maximum in real life!”
