OTTAWA – Local civil servant Richard Escarvage made his intentions clear towards his partner, Adrianne Voigt, yesterday in a romantically thorough and detailed Powerpoint presentation on the legal and socio-economic factors to consider on why the two should become engaged.
The 90-minute information session/proposal titled “Adrianne Voigt and Richard Escarvage: An Opportunity for a Renewed Partnership” was held in a secluded third-floor Director’s boardroom with a stunning view of some trees and a parking lot.
“Good morning everyone,” said Escarvage with his partner being the only other person in the room. “Now, did everyone get this revised version of the deck? I had to throw in a last-minute cost-benefit analysis of mortgages for married couples versus single people. Okay? Let’s begin.”
Pouring his heart out, the 31-year-old ran through the main speaking points including the legal definition of marriage, the reasons why he enjoys the company of his romantic companion, and how it relates to the Departmental Report on Plans and Priorities for the government.
“A marriage is a long-term project involving two individuals willfully consenting into a partnership that may involve love,” Escarvage said as he clicked to change to the next slide. “There are several costs, benefits, and learnings from other marriages. I will first begin with a backgrounder on our relationship, a comparative analysis on our common tastes, and will follow-up with marriage performance indicators.”
There were some concerns over stakeholder relationships between in-laws and which universities the hypothetical 1-3 children will be attending in the next 20-25 years.
“I recommend 30-minute teleconferences with the mother-in-law on a monthly basis just to share non-confidential information and smooth things over. Moving forward, the long-term investments made in education will be primarily determined by the interest of each child, notwithstanding the performing arts. ”
“While half of marriages do end in divorce, this is not the necessarily the case. Certain gender-based studies have demonstrated that if a woman obtains a post-secondary degree and marries after the age of 25, the couple is 30% less likely to be divorced or legally separated.”
At the end of the presentation Voigt exclaimed “Oh, Richard! Of course I would be interested in pursuing this project!”
Voigt has 6-8 weeks to respond to the proposal and requires approval from the Department’s Deputy Head and her parents, but may be delayed due to recent changes in the marriage proposal evaluation system. Escarvage’s procurement of an engagement ring has also been delayed.
