OTTAWA – Spring has finally arrived in the nation’s capital, revealing a winter’s worth of discarded legislators strewn across the Parliamentary lawn that were, until recently, concealed under layers of snow.
“It happens every year,” said Laurent Thibodeau, official Parliamentary groundskeeper. “But it’s always worse after a fall election. People think that because it’s snowing, no one will notice when they just toss away their Member of Parliament when they’re done with it. Then it warms up, the snow melts, and my team and I have to spend a couple of days shovelling MPs into garbage bags and hauling them off to the dump.”
Thibodeau says that many visitors to the legislature are also misinformed about how to properly dispose of an unwanted representative. “I hear a lot of people say ‘well, they’re biodegradable, so really it isn’t a problem’. That’s just wrong. The reality is, all of these MPs wear cheap suits made from synthetic fabrics, and that stuff won’t ever go away, no matter how long you give it.”
“We always try to remind visitors,” Thibodeau concluded, “when you’re done with your MP, be good to the environment. Put it in the trash where it belongs.”
