TORONTO – Scattered reports coming in from across the country appear to verify that the Canadian Screen Awards happened last night in Toronto, putting to rest modest public speculation.
Although details into which awards were actually doled out or the specifics of the ceremony remain hazy, authorities are in agreement that they did, in fact, take place. Per the single junior reporter assigned to the event by Canada’s media collective, the awards occurred on March 13th and begun at 8 p.m. or so and lasted for a while. The ceremony itself was probably broadcast on CBC.
“Is that the one with TV or movies? Weren’t they called the Junjies at some point or something?” inquired Sam Ashbridge, an average Canadian citizen. “I think I heard that they were happening, or had already happened, I really don’t know much more about it. Sorry.”
Awards were given to some of the nominees while others did not receive awards, mostly for categories like Least Cancelled TV Show or Most Improved Canadian Actor or Best Corner Gas Rerun or some such thing; however, this remains difficult to confirm. The host was either Gordon Pinsent or Don McKellar or Mary Walsh or another Canadian media personality whose name people kind of recognize. Winners went home with a Canadian Screen Award trophy, probably called a Screeny or a CanScr or something similarly cloying. At least one actor from Schitt’s Creek was there, maybe more.
“No, I don’t know who won but I bet it was probably Just for Laughs Gags, that show is hilarious!” said Kimberly Donoghue. “Wait, is Due South still on? That must have won a few too.
“Actually, the only reason I know that it was even happening was because I tried to get a table at my usual neighbourhood pub and couldn’t because the ceremonies were being held there last night,” Donoghue continued.
Analysts report that public awareness of the occurrence of the Canadian Screen Awards has reached close to 14%, making this the most widely acknowledged ceremony to date.
