By: Shane Byron
I can’t believe you would say something like that to me as though I’m some kind of crass moron that can’t take a well-reasoned opinion on my work performance. Unlike all of my other co-workers, my ability to take thoughtful, pointed criticism is superior.
‘I can work better with others by learning their names?’ I would know them if they bothered to tell me a few times. It’s not like they really made an effort except for that time they remembered my birthday. It was a lucky guess. Have you ever considered that they might be the problem and not me?
And no, it’s not me who is always late for meetings. You’re thinking of Trisha or Jon or whatever the hell they are called. I am always there on time. In fact, I’m five minutes early always ahead of management.
You’re also wrong about how I don’t use my time productively. What’s happening on BuzzFeed, Facebook and online games is actually much more important to our business. What if our company is mentioned in a YouTube cat video? I’m doing the research on my own initiative for which I have never received any recognition or raises.
What do you mean ‘proof-read your documents before sending them’? ‘Irregardless’ and ‘economology’ are words that I learned in university. I don’t know which shit college you went to, but these are terms in the thesaurus.
You know, I think it’s because you’ve got a personal ax to grind with me probably because I’m more intelligent than you. I could totally do your job ten times better than you could. Oh, and your dumb ‘sandwich method’ of saying two positive comment in between a negative comment is totally not working.
