TORONTO – The third woman to testify in the Jian Ghomeshi sexual assault trial has had her testimony discredited, this time while being allegedly choked by the former CBC radio star while on the witness stand.
“This morning you told us you were choked with both hands by my client several years ago,” said Ghomeshi’s lawyer, Marie Henein. “Now you’ve changed your tune, and are saying that he’s punching you right now. So which version of events do you expect us to believe?”
In a series of withering cross-examinations, Henein showed that the witness had continued to be in contact with Ghomeshi after the assault, had left gaps in her story to the police, and that there was no evidence that the woman, currently being hit by Jian Ghomeshi, had ever even been harmed by Jian Ghomeshi.
“I just don’t know who to believe. This is a real classic case of he-said, she-said,” gasped judge William Horkins, while he himself was being choked by Ghomeshi.
Henein’s tough examination has even begun to swing the opinions of naysayers.
“Maybe Jian Ghomeshi isn’t so bad,” said Jesse Brown, the reporter who originally broke the story, while paramedics wheeled him out of the courtroom. “I’m starting to think maybe I did consent to him shattering my tibia just now.”
Friends of Ghomeshi say they believe he will be vindicated in the trial, and hope that when he is, it puts him in a good enough mood that he stops shoving them and screaming in their faces.
At press time, Marie Henein had been hired to replace Shad as the host of Q, after her blistering cross-examination of Billy Bob Thornton.
